Dorothy Aiko Endow

Personality

Dorothy Endow

Do what you want. Do what you love. Here I do have something to say. So it is interesting to see how strong your mind is. Here's your personality. It has certain habits, and as I've said, to me, it has certain laws about what you can or can't do. And the things that don't fit its picture, it will completely ignore or interpret in a different way. Someone had recommended The Enneagram book, I read it, and you know, all the different kind of personality types, and then they say, "Well, if you don't, if you kinda can see or hear yourself in all of these personality types, maybe you're a nine, because a nine is a very expansive type." I thought, "Okay, well, maybe I'm a nine." Then I read it again six months later, and I thought, "How the hell could you not see that you are an Enneagram five? How could you not see that? I mean, it just so totally explains all of your habits and all of your laws. You are a five." But I think my personality, the first time I read it, did not want to be identified. I mean, it generally doesn't want to be identified or analyzed. And I thought, "Wow, you know, that it could just so completely ignore all of the clues that were there." So our personalities can... I had this other experience. So this person I worked with, she was kind of a victim. She had sort of a victim personality, and we worked together, and we were all gonna go to this big meeting in the auditorium, and I was toward the front. And I was gonna save seats so we could sit together with all of my friends. So I went in first, and I saved all these seats, and she approached. I had saved a seat for her. I could not tell her I saved her a seat. Her victim law was so strong. I was intending to give her a seat. In that moment, I saw it. I could not open mouth and say, "I saved a seat for you." And so she assumed that I didn't save a seat for her, and she went off and found some other place to sit, and I thought, "Wow, that is so Powerful.” So our personalities can be very powerful in narrowing what we can have to what it thinks we can have. So we don't get what we deserve, and to me, there's no deserving. Everything is grace. But we get what we think we deserve. This universe wants to give us whatever we want. It gives us what we think we deserve, which is usually very, very small, very, very limited. And so that's, to me, to get beyond the boundary of your personality is to then all of a sudden anything's possible, and not because you deserve it, because of grace. you get clearer. You get to the point where you're open to anything, and you're just open to what the universe gives you. Shari said, "You wanna try something?" And I was open to just say yes, not because I thought I deserved it, or because I thought, my personality thought I'd be good at it or anything, but just to, to say, "Why not?" So that's a lot of it in your class, Shari, for me because why not, you know? Which is... so not the personality of a five, but it just opened me up to so many more experiences that my personality never would have chosen, never would have allowed me. So to me, that's why the Enneagram is such a, a good teacher, 'cause then you see, "Wow, how robotic it is that it only wants me to do these certain things." And when you can say, "You know what? I don't have to do that. I don't have to follow those rules," all of a sudden, anything's possible. Hold the intention. So hold the intention in that you come to this film festival. You get to travel. You get to do what you want. You get to be successful, not because you deserve it, but because grace wants to give that to you. The universe wants to give that to you. And for you to be open enough to accept it.